Good morning, dino-mites!
This post was supposed to be a story—a witty tale of my heroic dumbness and courageous cowardice, but alas, creative burnout has infected our office so that neither of us has the energy to concoct a plot fit for your reading.* So instead you’ll have to settle for an update, and whether it’s fit for your reading is up to your own opinion.**
Saury Embers News
Some of you may have noticed, and some of you may not have noticed—in which case I’m telling you so you’ll no longer be uniformed—but Mariposa is now the public relations director at Saury Embers!
The title sounds impressive, but all it means is that my boss is now a boss of others besides me. She oversees the social media department now and tells her
coworkers minions to go post the thing before I sit on them (don’t worry, I never do. I know what it’s like having her for a boss). She also searches a lot of useless things like the psychology behind why humans are more likely to share a post if it’s got a hamburger emoji in the subtitle.***
Honestly, you humans are so weird.
Truthfully though, the only reason she got promoted was because everyone grew tired trying to remember all her titles (graphics, e-mail, and Instagram manager).
The good news is that Mariposa finished rewriting her second time travel book!
The bad news is that it’s still not good. She still has plot holes to fill, characters to beat, and words to throw away. I told her she couldn’t expect to fix her mess in a week. But at least her book is now less of a mess and that’s something.
The worst news is that stress ignited with discouragement and fried Mariposa’s imagination.**** You may have noticed I haven’t been commenting on your posts as much, responding to you as fast, or being as deplorably adorable as usual lately. That’s because I’ve been spending every spare minute cheering my boss up and bringing her Frappuccinos. I’ve barely had enough time to keep up on my blogpost eating!
I’ll forget the fact that I just wrote a blogpost about reading and commenting on my followers’ posts…
Golly, I’ve only been able to schedule posts two weeks in advance rather than my usual six months.
Thanks to my persistent unlikeableness, I’ve managed to help her through it. I’ve also cleared this month of tasks so we can dedicate it to her return to full creative vigor by November.
Future news sounds a little presumptions, like I’m a physic or something, but I’m not. I’m just really good at predicting the future, that’s all.
As I said, this month Mariposa and I are setting aside for rejuvenation. We’re going to read, bake, but most importantly, start brainstorming a new story and researching Russian history for a quirky Nutcracker retelling (you’ll be hearing more about that in the coming months). She hopes to commence drafting it in December, but she won’t.
Because no has time for anything during the holidays.
*We will write a story again for you, we promise. Just not now.
**In my opinion, it’s not.
***This is not scientific fact. Humans are actually more likely to react to a post if it has a pizza emoji in the subtitle. Just saying.
****Before you get all worried about my boss, she’s not suffering from chronic illness, and no one died except an innocent character. She’s simply suffering from life, but I’ll help her get over that.
****I promise you this is the last footnote.
*****Okay, maybe not.