Good morning, dino-mites! The author assistant agency (see my post from last month) has been buzzing with phone calls and barely able to keep up with the requests! They sincerely apologize for the delay and will try to do better in the future.
Meanwhile, I’ve pulled some strings with the agency’s president (a good friend of mine), and thus I am bringing your assistant to your doorstep today!*
Meet Jenna’s assistant Spike; a baby dragon from Narnia who lives off chocolate chip cookies and breathes fire on poorly written stories.
Meet Evelyn’s assistant, Rufus, a fuzzy, elephant-trunked raggant who is a trained professional in poking authors who need to take a break.
Meet Dekreel’s assistant, Olly, a shade fox and natural born grammarian who can think of the right word at a moment’s notice.
Meet Kenechi’s assistant, Ipian Drake (also known as Ip); a native from middle earth that eats cole slaw for breakfast and recently received his flyer’s license.
Meet Merie’s assistant, a wolpertinger from Narnia who is certified to bring characters to life and create portals into fictional worlds.
Meet Chalice’s assistant, Jasmine, the incroyable lion with super acid drool that melts writer’s block.
Since the assistant agency is so swamped, they sometimes miss applications. So if you have requested an assistant which hasn’t arrived yet or know someone who has, please comment below with a link to the post and I’ll try to deliver their assistant to them as soon as possible!
*I am not liable for anything your assistant commits after delivery, including suffocation by hugs, breathing fire, eaten manuscripts, melted chairs, empty cupboards, or any other manner of destruction from now until you fire them.