I’m a pretty versatile dinosaur. I can eat books or sit on Mariposa, and I can sit on Mariposa or eat books, so this is the perfect tag for someone as flexible as I am. I was nominated by one of my favorite bloggers, Jenna (you can visit her website here), and I thank her for this opportunity to gloat about myself because I’m so humble that I wouldn’t think of doing it otherwise.
What? You don’t believe me? But I’m truly the humblest dinosaur on earth! In fact, I’m the only dinosaur on this earth, but that’s not the point. The point is that I need to proceed to the rules of this tag and stop arguing:
1. Thank the person who nominated you.
2. Link to the blog of the person who nominated you.
3. Share 7 facts about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 more bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award. (Ha! Who even knows 15 bloggers? Do you? And most of the ones I know have already been nominated.)
First, here’s the seven uninteresting facts about Mariposa:
1. She loves bicycling.
This fact isn’t really all that interesting, because lots of people like to bicycle (not dinosaurs though, we crash too much). But the interesting part is that she only learned how to ride one three months ago! Some people say she’s too old to be learning to ride a bike, but I disagree. Who says I can’t teach my old human new tricks?
So, the question is, how many times do you think she crashed?
2. She looks nine years younger than she is.
Seventy percent of people guess Mariposa at ten years younger than she is, twenty-three percent guess her at five years younger, six percent guess her three years younger, and 0.0001 percent guess her age correctly. She thinks that’s because of three factors: 1) She’s petite, 2) She has a youthful face, and 3) She’s surrounded by a bunch of people who are rotten at guessing ages.
In my opinion, the real reason is that she still acts like a child (why do you think she’s writing children’s books?). She’s also been accused of hanging out with imaginary friends.
What? Why is everyone looking at me?
3. She can name more old TV shows than I can count.
I firmly believe Mariposa was born in the wrong era because she can list off scads of TV stars from 1950-1970, but can’t name any from nowadays. Every night, she and I sit down to watch some vintage shows and relax after a hard day of not writing. Some of my personal favorites are The Dick Van Dino Show, Bonenaza, and Little House on the Prehistoric.
4. She’s a combination of right and left-handed.
Mariposa writes and draws with her left hand, but she does everything else with her right. I can do nothing with either of my hands because my arms are so short.
5. She reads more nonfiction than fiction.
Mariposa is picky when it comes to picking up a novel. She’s not fond of fantasy (usually), contemporary, or Amish romance, and that seems to be what’s trending right now. However, she’s quite fond of a good dinosaur book, but that is not trending right now…
She and I are working on that.
6. She’s a germophobic.
If you see a short brunette lady with glasses using her foot to open the door to the restroom, that’s probably Mariposa. If you see a short brunette lady with glasses squirting globs of germ gel on her hands, that’s probably Mariposa. If you see a short brunette lady with glasses kill over because someone touched her food, that’s definitely Mariposa.
But despite the fact that people think this is weird, these habits have proved quite beneficial to her writing career because she hasn’t gotten sick in over eighteen months and thus has been able to devote more time to writing rather than feeling miserable.
7. She adores dinosaurs.
I’m 100% sure you had no idea Mariposa likes dinosaurs. I know I have no idea from the way she treats me. But even if you did know this, I bet you didn’t know her love of dinosaurs goes back to her childhood. She grew up playing with dinosaur toys and watching The Land Before Time.
Now for some interesting facts about me:
1. My favorite color is green.
My second favorite color is teal. I guess it’s convenient that I happen to be my two favorite colors, right?
2. I can run up to thirty-five miles per hour.
Note that I did not say I run thirty-five miles per hour, only that I could if I want to. But I never want to because I’m mentally fit, which means I’m aware that I’m not physically fit and would die if I tried to run at that speed.
3. I can’t see anything without my glasses.
Mariposa sometimes likes to steal my glasses so I can’t point out her typos. But yesterday I bought contacts (and I haven’t told her so she’ll think my eyes miraculously recovered).
4. Mariposa doesn’t pay me enough.
Between the expenses of repairing whatever I broke from my tail, fixing whatever I scratched with my claws, and replacing whatever I chewed, I can hardly make ends meet on the salary Mariposa pays me. I am tempted to go on strike and start a writer’s assistant league for other underpaid, under-appreciated dinosaurs.
5. I live a few thousand years from Mariposa’s house.
Every day I travel from my small house in the prehistoric suburbs to Mariposa’s office. The commute is longer than I like (I walk), so I keep trying to convince Mariposa to let me move in with her.
Bonus fact: I’m not very good at convincing.
6. I’m jealous of Snoopy.
Don’t get me wrong—Snoopy is cute and all that, but his head is too big for his size. One time at the Fictional Characters Writer’s Conference he was giving a lecture about handling humans and advised barking at humans instead of sitting on them. I, of course, knew to the contrary, so I promptly informed him of his error. After I told him, he said I knew nothing and strutted off to his doghouse without another word.
Seriously, why are you humans taking writing advice from a dog? A dinosaur’s advice is much better.
So why is Snoopy famous and I’m not?
7. My favorite place to eat is the library.
I’ve had a couple times when I’ve been out of a job, and I would have died of literary hunger had I not been able to nibble on some free library books. Since I had to give the books back, I could only eat a few pages from each novel, but I didn’t think anyone would notice since the books were already pretty chewed up anyway.
Now it’s my turn to tag nobody because no one ever follows that rule, but anybody who wants to participate in this tag may do it (or you can just list some facts about yourself in the comments).