14 Reasons I Am (or Will Be) Thankful I’m Not Writing

Are you enjoying NaNoWriMo? I hope so, because I’m not. I’m already two weeks into NaNoWriMo and my word count is up to 40,000. My book-eating count is up to 50,000. And my energy count is down to zero.

I can’t believe it, but I’m sick of eating books.

And even more of writing books.

Would somebody please come sabotage all the keyboards? You guys have been so busy cramming words down my throat every day that I’ve barely managed to keep from choking! I know I said I’ll eat rough drafts, but they’re not supposed to be so rough that they nearly cut my throat!

I guess, all in all, I’m glad for NaNoWriMo—to end—before my fingers fall off. I know when I sit down at the dinner table this Thanksgiving that I’m going to be grateful I’m not writing because:

  • I can sleep “normal” hours instead of trying to convince myself to stay up late and write a couple hundred extra words I’ll end up deleting the next day. Not that I’m prejudiced against 1 a.m. or anything—I really love that time of the morning, just not when I’m awake.
  • I won’t have to stare at ANYTHING—which includes my computer screen, the ceiling, the floor, my toes, my neighbor’s chickens, or any other random object that could potentially give me inspiration, but inevitably won’t.
  • I won’t be spending hours searching for the right word that was so far on the tip of my tongue that it fell off.
  • I can stop talking to fictional characters and start socializing with real people—wait, that’s not something to be grateful for!
  • I can briefly pretend to be normal.
  • I won’t need to whack my tail every few minutes. (You know how you humans sometimes have your leg or feet fall asleep when you’ve been sitting too long? Well, I get that too, except it’s in my tail. And believe me, flopping a tail the size of mine around, trying to get it awake, can result in crashing lamps, tables, and chairs.)
  • Crumpled paper won’t be covering the floor, my desk, the ceiling (that’s what happens when I throw a paper airplane with a piece of gum on it), my head, the closet, my eyes, and the common sense of having a clean house.
  • I won’t be picking pencil shavings out of my teeth.
  • I can finally do all the important things I couldn’t do before—like laughing at images of tortured writers, watching videos of humans wasting time watching funny cat videos, and posting useless information about myself on Fossilbook.
  • I won’t be reading my own writing and wondering why I’m even still writing.
  • I won’t have to sit all day and hear my family insist I’m going to die from a blood clot or something.
  • I won’t be hating myself, doubting my judgement, or crying from paper cuts.
  • I won’t have to think (that’s the qualification of being normal, right?).

What is something you are looking forward to when NaNo is over?

2 thoughts on “14 Reasons I Am (or Will Be) Thankful I’m Not Writing

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