Have you ever had writer’s block? Well, that’s a stupid question, of course you have! Every writer has encountered the block at some point and the ones that haven’t are either utter geniuses or incorrigible liars.
Having battled the block myself, I thought I’d share my battle strategies with you. They are practically foolproof (don’t look at me that way—these tactics really do work…one percent of the time).
Strategy #1 Pounding
Stomp as hard as you can on the block until you hear a cracking sound. This procedure may take several minutes of banging the keyboard, slamming out useless words that will neither advance or enhance your writing. Caution: May result in brain injuries, increased emotional hostilities, or hair falling out.
Then again, it may only double the blockage:
Strategy #2 Dumping
Load up as many blocks as your arms can handle and toss them into the deepest ocean, lake, or puddle of your head until they sink out of mental sight. This may require diligently not writing and ignoring your characters’ existence. Caution: Blocks may have buoyancy and float up with thrice the number like this:
Strategy #3 Demolishing
Rent out the best writing advice and swing the knowledge smack into the blocks. Caution: Choose your advice carefully; bad advice may result in bad writing, bad editing, and bad breath (because rotten advice stinks).
But sometimes even the best advice sends the blocks flying only to have them land right back where they were—and quadrupled.
Strategy #4 Blasting
When all else fails, collect your best ideas and ignite them directly under the blocks. Caution: Stand back at safe distance. Ideas may singe your mind and render you inoperative for anything mundane. The explosion is so powerful it will break any and every block, flinging it to extinction.
Or flinging any and every block crashing on your head.
Strategy #5 Recycling
The only good thing about all those blocks landing on your head is that if they don’t kill you, they’ll knock some sense into your brain. Fighting the block typically results in injury of mind, body, and computer screen. Instead, view blocks are a normal part of the writing life and recycle them into creativity for the future. Caution: It may result in something amazing.