Happy Independent Publishing Day!
Oh wait, you humans don’t celebrate that today. What is it you celebrate? Oh, I remember!
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!
My boss lady took the day off to get soaked and to tromp around her property inspecting every tree, bush, and dirt speck for shiny thingamabobs. All that basically means is that her family has the tradition of blasting one another with water guns and going on patriotic scavenger hunts. Then, she gathers all the pop-its she can find and doesn’t pop them—not even one (okay, maybe one, but that’s only because she can’t resist the temptation). Instead, she spreads them along the road to give drivers heart attacks and make them think their cars are malfunctioning.
She’s cruel, isn’t she? That’s why she’s a writer, because she delights in torturing fictional and nonfictional people.
Here in the createtus period, we celebrate things a bit differently. While you warm-blooded people are sipping lemonade, munching on hot dogs, and watching fireworks, we cold-blooded lizards are sipping frozen ink, munching on letter salad sentences, and watching firewords. Instead of throwing water balloons, we throw ink balloons, which are heaps cooler. (But also a heap messier. It took me three weeks last year to scrub the black off my scales.)
But what makes this holiday so stupendous is the reasoning behind it. On this day our ancestors signed the Declaration of Independent Publishing. You see, about five hundred years ago, our founding fathers came over here from Great Written. They built libraries and bookstores out of the blisters on their tails. But the king of Written didn’t want them to publish their own books.
And that started the writerutionary war.
The battle was fierce and there were severe losses on both sides, but with the help of dinosaurs like George Wannansaurus, our country prevailed, and now, thanks to them, we have the liberty to chose traditional or self-publishing!
I’m so proud of my country that I waved my flag five hundred times today (which is a lot of exertion for my short arms). Think of all the delicious, self-published books I never could have enjoyed!
How do you celebrate today? Do you choose traditional or self-publishing?